Sex and Relationships – Daytime Parents and Nighttime Lovers – Seven Secrets to Sensational Sex

Article by Jeff and Laurel Barnet

Do you know how everything about your relationship changes after having kids, including your sex life? Many women lose interest in sex and their husbands get frustrated about it. This situation is not hopeless. Read on to discover how you can be daytime parents and still be nighttime lovers.

Daytime Parents

“Daytime Parents and Nighttime Lovers,

Hoping the kids won’t discover,

Where we go and what we do under the covers.”

(adapted by Jeff Barnet from Kenny Roger’s “Daytime Friends”)

In the days before children, you and you spouse probably spent a lot more time together. Spending time together was easy. You did not have to deal with sick kids, constant interruptions, and it did not require weeks of planning to get a babysitter. Then the kid(s) came along.

Nighttime Lovers

Welcome to parenthood. So with all these changes, how do you keep the fire of passion burning with so much damp wood lying around?

Here are seven secrets to sensational sex after having children:

1. Getting to Know You

Mommy and Daddy are still husband and wife. Spend time talking to each other every day. Turn off the television and find out what went on in your mate’s day.

2. Romancing Your Spouse

Romance can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Those little romantic things remind you that you are still lovers, not just parents.

3. For Dad’s Eyes Only

Sex is probably more important to you than your wife. Do you know what she needs to get in the mood? She probably needs more that just you saying, “You want to fool around?”

One great tip is to help her with the kids and the housework. If she is refreshed and has a break from being mom housewife, then she is more likely to be in the mood for lovemaking. Also, putting into action these other six sex tips will help both of you focus more on your relationship as lovers.

4. For Mom’s Eyes Only

The top three reasons for decreased sex drive in women are fatigue, stress and relationship problems. The first two automatically come along with kids. You are so busy and focused on the kids that sex is the last thing on your mind. However, it is not the last thing on your husband’s mind. He still needs you to be his lover, not just his parenting partner. Practicing these other six sex tips can help you refocus the attention on your love life

5. Conspiracy Theory

You might need conspire together for sexual encounters otherwise it may not happen. If you are waiting for the perfect spontaneous moment, you may be waiting for a while. However, scheduled sex can still be romantic. A bonus is that the anticipation enhances arousal.

6. Light the Fire (both literally and figuratively)

Think about what you did before the kids came along. There are endless ways you can set the stage. For example, turn on romantic music, light scented candles, and give each other a massage.

7. Date Your Mate

You need couple time, as well as family time. Get a babysitter and go out. Date night does not have to be expensive. What you do is not as important as just being together.

Start Now to See an Improvement in Both Your Marriage and Sex Life.

These seven secrets are just a few of the things that you can do to improve your relationship. Learn more in the free e-course, “Common Barriers to Building a Dream Marriage”, available at

Prior to Jeff’s death in 2007, Jeff and Laurel Barnet co-authored several e-books and e-courses together to help couples improve their sex life, emotional intimacy, communication skills and marital satisfaction. You can get more information at


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